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characters I'm the Vampire That's Why

Vampire That's Kindle #215 “Aku tahu apa yang kutahu kalau kau membuka hatimu untukku kau akan mengetahui hal yang sama”Jessica Matthews tak lagi percaya pada cinta setelah Rich selingkuh darinya Ketika serpihan serpihan hatinya belum tersatukan mimpi buruk terburuk yang pernah ada menimpa dirinya Suatu malam ketika sedang membuang sampah sesosok makhluk berbulu me. There s a difference between fun lighthearted vampire fiction and the ridiculous This one was ridiculous It had too many elements Jessica a bitter ex wife who s now an ex widow she s also the descendent of some Irish magic Her ancestor s curse means no one in her town of Broken Heart Oklahoma will ever find love She is attacked by a monster and then saved by the Irish non monster version of the same person Very confusingHer husband s girlfriend has a change of heart and apologizes for breaking up the family becomes a vampire and then commits suicide by exposing herself to the sun The hunky vampire who has a smoldering Irish accent I kept thinking of Liam Neeson whispering in my ear is the twin brother of the monster who attacked Jessica With apparently a ginormous penis I wish I could say that the embarrassment of my cheek brushing against his testicles outweighed my need to suck his blood and yeah I know ew but it was like it was like a half off sale at Pottery Barn The line about the testicles appears on page 4 It may be the way my brain works but you can either have sexy or funny I don t think you can have both This author attempts both and failsThe werewolves refers to their penises peni as woobies Neither sexy nor funny This line is when I gave up on the book

summary ☆ PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB ☆ Michele Bardsley

I'm the Vampire That's Why

Nyerang dan menggigit dirinya membuatnya nyaris mati Seandainya tak ditolong oleh Patrick si vampir Irlandia nan tampan penuh kharisma sudah pasti Jessica akan I'm the PDFEPUB or tewas Namun semua itu ada bayarannya Jessica tak diberi pilihan dan terpaksa menjadi vampirSiapa yang tak ingin hidup abadi Apalagi jika ada laki laki gagah dan tampan yang bersedia menemani m. Story centers around a suburban mom Jessica Matthews who gets mauled by a hairy creature as she takes out the trash She wakes up later to find that the creature nearly killed her and so she had to be Turned into a vampire Thusly she discovers a whole world she didn t know existed that has vampires wolf shapshifters and humans working together but they also have enemies Starts off interesting but about third or halfway through begins feel repetitive Lots of mom jokes and snarking off at vampires Jessica may be the soul mate of one of the oldest vampires and has a dilemma over whether she should sleep with him there is a lot of lusting and description of how gorgeous he is on about the eyes and accent and he uses a lot of Gaelic thus be married to him for 100 years and also worries about how this could affect her children A lightly plotted story pretty uick fun type romance read Has a MaryJanice Davidson air not uite as good but I ll give this author another chance

Michele Bardsley ☆ 6 characters

Enyebutnya sebagai belahan jiwa yang selama ini telah ditunggu tunggu Tapi sayangnya menjadi makhluk abadi pun tak selamanya menguntungkan terutama mengenai berpasangan Ada peraturan yang mengharuskan vampir untuk terikat selama satu abad seandainya mereka ingin berpasangan sementara benih benih cinta yang Patrick berikan the Vampire That's Epub #224 untuknya kian meka. Is fear rith maith n drochseasamh And that means what A good run is better than a bad stand Oh And that means what It means Jessica that life is about choices Sometimes you fight sometimes you flee but you never surrender This book in its sheer simplicity has taught me this important life lesson Also it tried to teach me Gaelic terms which unfortunately my brain refuses to processJessica Matthews single mom of two was attacked and left bleeding to death on the pavement She wakes up thinking she s in heaven Well not literally but figuratively she is as she was suckling on a male thigh It s then I can imagine him talking Patrick O Halloran I could almost hear his voice tingling my ear speaking sweet nothings in his sexy Irish accent That is enough to make me dance on my toes Hmm consider accents my waterloo You could blindfold me and make even a garbage collector talk to me in any foreign accent and I could fall in love with him on the spotThat s when Jessica tears away from the velvety inside of the muscular male thigh That s when she sees the man with the sexy Irish accent And the body does not disappoint Being naked Jessica managed to survey the entire package and I will uote Raven black hair feathered away from his face and ends of it curling on his shoulders He looked like Pierce Brosnan in his Remington Steele days except for the color of those eyes With eyes like the sea after a storm Those strange eyes were an ever changing silver that seemed to eddy and swirl like a fast rising river Given his size my guess was that he was just about six feet tall He was muscular and trim like an athlete rather than bulky like a gym freak with a light dusting on his chest and thighs There s also a detailed account on exclusive male organs but we wouldn t want to be descriptive much rightWell aside from the sexy package despite Patrick being dead he has a large heart to give He believes that Jessica is his soulmate and he gives her the choice to bind with him On their first meeting he ties himself up so he wouldn t ravish Jessica and end up binding her against her will having sex would bind any paranormal being for a hundred yearsI would have given this book four stars however I gave it three because 1 uotations from movies I unfortunately never watched the blame must be on me but the author should never assume that all her readers seen The Princess Bride 2 the excessive Gaelic without immediate translations 3 the legend which was a hundred years old but written in a manner and style belonging to the 20th centuryBut still it was a good and refreshing read And yes despite motherhood and death Jessica Matthews cam definitely kick butt


10 thoughts on “I'm the Vampire That's Why

  1. says:

    I started this book thinking it was going to be a fun light sassy read I really wanted to like it But after a little over 100 pages I had to stop Reasons for doing soIt was very inconsistent – So many things contradicted each other

  2. says:

    Read this on my vacation It was okay Not life changing or even as funny as I had hoped I'm not reviewing it because I need to catch up on 50 million things

  3. says:

    There's a difference between fun lighthearted vampire fiction and the ridiculous This one was ridiculous It had too many elements Jessica a bitter ex wife who's now an ex widow she's also the descendent of some Irish magic Her ances

  4. says:

    I'm the Vampire That's Why was a pretty good book Jessica was a funny MC She was a single mom who became a vampire It also doesn't hurt that there's Patrick the sexy Irish Vampire eitherNow I shipped the heck out of these two; Howe

  5. says:

    Taken From 's a new breed of soccer mom in town with fangsDoes drinking blood make me a bad mother? That's the uestion single mom Jess

  6. says:

    Story centers around a suburban mom Jessica Matthews who gets mauled by a hairy creature as she takes out the trash She wakes up later to find that the creature nearly killed her and so she had to be Turned into a vampire Thusly she discovers a whole world she didn't know existed that has vampires wolf shapshifters and h

  7. says:

    My Thoughts 5 out of 5 Unicorns I loved it I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me I bought this in paperback but no one tells me what to think feel or write about any book I have also bought t

  8. says:

    Is fear rith maith nά drochseasamh And that means what? A good run is better than a bad stand Oh And that means what? It means Jessica that life is about choices Sometimes you fight sometimes you flee but you never surrender This book in its sheer simplicity has taught me this important life lesson Also it tried to teach me Gaelic terms which unfortunately my brain refuses to processJessica Matthews single mom of two was attacked and left

  9. says:

    I thought this would be a fun book to read and it was if somewhat annoying also It is about a single mother in the small town of Broken Heart Oklahoma who while taking out the garbage is attacked and killed but w

  10. says:

    Abandoned this tried to read it again and abandoned it again after slogging through some chapters Couldn't stop rolling my eyes while reading It was just too absurd the story too pat and with vampires being the ultimate Mary Sue Need anything? Poof Vampires magic anything you want out of thin air Need to get somewhere? Poof Vampire